Recently I uploaded a picture of Israel and his daddy on my instagram story and the response I got was so crazy to me..
If you’ve been following me on instagram @luciasimone__ for a year or so you’ll know I’ve been through hell and back when it comes to my relationship with Izzy’s (Israel’s nickname) dad. This time last year I was heart broken, mentally in a bad place, my life was turned upside down.. But a year on and I can honestly say I’m happy, healed and living my best life (okay maybe not my best life.. my bum isnt as big as Kim Kardashian’s, I’m broke and don’t have teeth like Gucci mane… but you get my drift)
Anyway, I posted a picture of Izzy and his dad on FaceTime with a caption like “look at these twins.. my DNA didn’t even get a look in” because honestly it makes me sick how much they look like each other.
If I wasn’t present at Israel’s birth I would say this little boy probably isn’t even mine.. and the replies I got bamboozled me
“Are you guys back together?”
“I can’t believe you let him talk to izzy after everything he did to you..”
“Why do you even speak to him?”
“Your better than me he would be blocked”
(Especially from people without children)
My only response was – you do realise this man is STILL Israel’s dad right?
No matter what this man does to me, he’s still gonna be Israel’s dad.. whether we argue, disagree, fight.. he’s still gonna be Izzy’s dad. If he cuts off my big toe.. he’s STILL gonna be Izzy’s dad. If he pushes me off… okay okay I’ll stop you get it.
Whatever I feel about Israel’s father is honestly none of Israel’s business (For now anyway! Not until he’s old enough to have his own opinion) I could want to stab him a thousand times and sprinkle salt over his wounds BUT Israel would never know..
Yes this man has put me through a lot.. yes I have gone through stages of hating this mans guts. But how do you expect someone to heal with hate in their heart? I can’t live a happy, mentally healthy life focusing my energy on hating someone.
Yes I have my days of disliking him VERY MUCH TO THE POINT OF WANTING TO STRANGLE THE LIFE OUT OF HIS BODY but I will always love him for giving me my son.
Without him there would be no Israel.
I think it’s always easy to comment on something your not going through, give you opinion on something you know nothing about.. it’s a situation where you will never know how you will react till your living it.
Maybe it’s hard to imagine but when you have a child you do not come first anymore! I had to push pride, feelings and hurt to the side so that his dad could still play a part of his life. It wasn’t easy.. but honestly no part of being a parent is.
The only thing I would never compromise on was my mental health. Please believe it wasn’t a walk in the park getting to where I am now.. of course I had to take time away from him, block him completely out to focus on healing myself (which of course at the time he didn’t understand *rolls eyes*), but that was temporary for my sanity and mental health.
I would never hold Israel away from his dad.
So before commenting on something you know nothing about.. maybe don’t?
The choices I make in my life, especially regarding my son, are never taken lightly.. I think holding a child away from their parent (unless absolutely necessary – but then again that’s non of my business! How you live your life has nothing to do with me) does more damage to the child than good in the end. Its a touchy subject honestly, but I can only speak for me.. speak on my life. Like I said if Israel ever turned around and said “mommy I don’t want x y & z in my life” then that’s another story. But until then I will continue to put Izzy first in all my decisions and do what I think is best.