I know it’s been a minute since I’ve written anything. I’ve been in such a weird head space recently I don’t know how to explain it.
One of my biggest problems is I over think.
I make myself upset at the fact I’m not fully over everything that happened last year.
I thought at the start of the new year I would just be able to click my fingers and everything would be perfect, my feelings would be shut off and I would just be over everything.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not crying my eyes out every second. Lmao no. But when I have a moment to myself I catch myself thinking about the past and how much I wish everything was different.
I feel like such a broken record.
It amazes me how I can be soo bogged down with emotion yet the other party involved doesn’t feel a thing, living their best life while I take the load of our responsibilities. It’s so hurtful to see, I try not to look but hey I’m human!
I feel like I’m going 2 steps forward & 10 back.
I keep going over everything in my head, all the unanswered questions, putting 2 & 2 together and making 5. I just can’t wait for the day that I don’t feel anything..
So yes I’m sorry I haven’t put anything out in a while, I’m even in two minds wether to post this or not.. but I guess since you all have been on my healing journey with me I might aswell be honest. Share my highs AND lows.