I get soo many questions on how I over came my break up.. and I’ll be honest with you, I’m not 100% over it.
There’s times I catch myself thinking about the situation and how much it hurts or there’s times I think I wish things were different or I wish we were still together.. but the trick is to fake it.
Fake it till you make it!
Tell your self your okay, tell yourself your over it.. act like you are, and soon you’ll start believing it.
BUT I do know it’s easier said then done.
And sure you DO need your time to cry, scream and feel sorry for yourself – of course that’s all part of the healing process, but once you’ve cried your last tear pick yourself up and tell yourself it’s time to be happy again!
I found thinking positively has really helped me! If you can’t think positively look up positive quotes and sayings.. (Pinterest was honestly my Best friend!)
Taking things one day at a time and being grateful for what I DO have and not what I’m lacking really helped. I would write down 3 positive things that happened that day or that I’m grateful for & when I found myself getting sad I would re read them..
Before I would stress about who is gonna teach Israel “manly” things that only a dad can teach, but honestly right now is that important? Israel can barely stand unaided let alone worry about all that stuff that’s miles away in the future. You never know what the future holds so I’m making an effort to focus on the here and now.
Blocking all things related to Israels dad has helped as well… out of sight out of mind. If I don’t see him I don’t think about him or the situation or how sad I am or what could have been (get my drift?)
Obviously I can’t fully block him out of my life because of our son, but I have no reason to be looking at his social media so it’s blocked.
The main thing is protecting your peace, so making sure you won’t see or stumble on anything that will hurt you and bring you back to square one is super important.
Being sad and crying is also part of the healing process. It’s okay to cry! It’s okay to be sad! Cry till you can’t cry no more. Then one day decide you will not give this situation anymore of your tears & pick yourself back up.
I found deleting pictures therapeutic. The ones of him and our son I saved onto a memory stick for Israel when he’s older – I guess their relationship shouldn’t be tarnished because of what happened to me. But I obviously didn’t want to see his face every time I was trying to find a funny meme in my camera role.
Talk to someone! Whether it be a friend, relative, stranger.. anyone who will listen. I found offloading every thing I felt to someone who went through similar things sooooo helpful. Sometimes we hold things in till we can’t hold it any more and almost explode because it’s too much. Talking about it is almost a release . The person doesn’t even need to say much back, just the fact that you are offloading is more than enough.
WRITING THINGS DOWN! Omg I will vouch for this 100 times over. At the time it might feel crazy as hell writing down how you feel, what your going through, what your thought process is. BUT I promise you, when you look back at what you’ve written in let’s say 3/4 months time you will see how much you’ve flourished! How much pain you’ve over come! You honestly will be sooo proud of yourself. I look back at notes I wrote down when I was in the thick of my breakup. Let me tell you I was in the worst head space I’ve ever been in.. my all time low. But now? Okay I’m not 100% where I want to be but I’ve over come soooo much.. I can’t believe how strong I actually am! Trust me you will shock yourself at how strong you are.
I touched on protecting your peace..
In the time when you are healing you have to be selfish! You have to take the time out for you! Because at the end of that day you are the most important person! Your peace is the upmost important thing! How are you supposed to get over your pain when your not in the right head space? Be selfish, remove certain things/people.. even just temporarily till you feel 100% again.
So for example, while I was healing I told Israels dad not to contact me so I could get over the situation, heal my heart and be in the right frame of mind. At first he didn’t understand, he thought I was holding Israel away from him out of spite but in all honestly I was just so broken, I would think I was getting better then he would contact me to speak to our son and my heart would shatter all over again! I wasn’t able to look after myself properly let alone our son. So I just HAD to take time out for me.
So obviously I’m not an expert on getting over a relationship or healing your heart.. but these are a few things that really helped me.
If you follow me on Instagram you’ll know that I’m an open book and people can reach out to talk to me about whatever! So if your ever going through ANYTHING and feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to, contact me! I’m always here. Even if it’s for the silliest thing, I don’t care nobody should suffer alone. When I was going through my break up there was soo many people that would reach out to me and share their stories with me and how they over came it (and honestly it was nice to know I wasn’t the only one that had gone through it..)
Sometimes it’s nice to talk to a stranger that can give you a different outlook on the situation and bring everything back to perspective.
You are not alone.
You don’t have to suffer by yourself.
I’m honestly always here!
Love Lucia Simone x